I will try to listen

DECEMBER 2011

Tell the truth whenever possible.
It's always possible.

I had an idea to write about - now it's gone.

I ordered a big stuffed gorilla for Hugo for Christmas. A 'stuffie' he calls it. He gets embarrassed about wanting 'little kid' things. He's nine. He can be so sweet and tender it fills my heart to overflowing.

He also wants a bike - a good one, he says. One that's for boys with awesome huge wheels. I'm not sure what the 'awesome huge wheels' part means. The bike he has now was Isabelle's.

We will go to Davis for Christmas. Both my brothers will be there. I'm looking forward to it.

I want to really be with everyone when we're there, not tuned out or distracted. There always seems to be a level of chaos that obscures any closeness. It's only when everyone is leaving that we realize we were all together.

I will try to have conversations even though a football game will be on, and the kids will be climbing on the couch, and getting reprimanded for climbing on the couch, and dogs will be barking.

I will try to listen - to experience who these people are. My family. My loved ones.