How is that helpful?

I spend a good deal of time in a deadlock with myself. Right now it's regarding going to the Berkeley Buddhist Monastery tonight.

CUT TO CONVERSATION IN PROGRESS:

ME: It just seems like two hours is an awfully long time. I would think 30 minutes would be plenty.

OTHER ME: Just try it. You've had it on your calendar for months. You have nothing going on tonight. Just go. It's not going to kill you.

ME: Do you know that for a fact? That no one has ever died from trying to meditate for two hours?

OTHER ME: You can leave if you feel your life is in danger. They're not going to make you stay. Plus you don’t meditate the whole time.

ME: Well, it’s probably frowned upon to walk out in the middle. It could be disruptive. It might be awkward.

OTHER ME: So let it be awkward. Big deal. Don't be such a baby.

ME: Don't call me a baby! I hate it when you call me that.

OTHER ME: Baby.

ME: See, that's exactly it, right there - how is that helpful?

Etc., until it’s too late to go.