All but two

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Can you imagine using the word kumquat as a term of endearment?
- Yes, maybe for a hamster if I had one.
Have you ever had a hamster?
- No.
Would you ever want a hamster?
- No.
I see...

If a plum cost $.35, a banana cost $.45, and a cantaloupe cost $.95, how long would you wait in line for a free haircut?
- No more than 20 minutes.
That is correct.

A penguin walks through that door right now wearing a sombrero. What does he say and why is he here?
- Well, first I think it's interesting that you assume it's a male penguin.

How would people communicate in a perfect world?
- Through love vibration. And kissing, maybe.

You have a bouquet of flowers: All but two are roses, all but two are daisies, and all but two are tulips. How many flowers do you have?
- All but two?

What did you want to be when you were 10 years old, and what went wrong?
- Eleven. It didn't last.