You're puttin' me to sleep

00194539Ever Studio4163214.0Normal0falsefalsefalseEN-USJAX-NONE/* Style Definitions */table.MsoNormalTable{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;mso-style-noshow:yes;mso-style-priority:99;mso-style-parent:"";mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;mso-para-margin:0in;mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;mso-pagination:widow-orphan;font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Century Gothic";}

SCRAPS OF PAPER IN MY POCKETS

Bacon is the heroin of meat.

People who start talking louder when they don’t know what they’re talking about.

I was at the gym this morning, on the benchpress, and this big muscle dude came over and woke me up.

Never house-sit in October: no matter how much you water, everything is going to die, and you'll be blamed for it.

How lost is it OK to be? For how long?
- don't know

I used to have a sexual partner. Then we got married.

I performed at a Senior Center once, playing jazz standards. In the middle of "Autumn Leaves" a 90 year-old woman yelled: "You're puttin' me to sleep!"